Alone

Another year of being single. I wonder why it scares me. I think i miss my friends and family and thats why I feel alone. Alone.... as a word sounds so aloof and lonely i wonder why it bothers everyone so much. Looking back into my life I had lots of friends back in India who had the same interest like me.
I don't want to be complaining but people here are so busy in there lives that one cannot expect that kind of time from anyone. So back to the question as to why I feel alone. May be I want a partner....yes I said maybe because the PARTNER means somebody who can accompany you and be there for you as a supporter. Well looking at people around me I don't think I can ever find one. After a broken marriage and giving trials to dating I have to accept the fact that I will be alone. That brings tears into my eyes but yes I am accepting it. All I see is people being selfish and look only for sex.
Yes I even tried things for sex but I am not into having a fuck buddy. I think I see people getting along with each other and doing things together and there is no one by my side. Also to mention that I do have lovely close friends and I am so grateful for having them in my life. but since the time I have moved in with my relatives I have been supporting myself with that I mean MONEY AND ACCOMPANY MYSELF whenever loneliness kicks in.
Recently I have started to spend a lot of time with myself and I have to admit that I am the only person in this world who would not give up on myself or just leave myself when I have no interest in myself. Yes that sounds weird but sometimes I feel that I have no interest in myself and so you can imagine how much I am interested in listening to somebody else.
And I also understand the fact that I am dealing with hypothyroid and depression. But hey at least I am writing about it. And by writing I am trying to solve this whole puzzel of why being alone bothers. Is it because we are social animals ha must be because of that fact.