Are you over 30 years? Look rough, play Kabaddi probably, talk boastful, act all macho? But on the other hand your mom keeps phoning and asking if you had food? Or when you are coming home. Do you just leave your laundry for her to do? Does your Mom tell you which race you should date or religion the girl should be? In South Asian culture, there is a big difference in how a girl is raised and how a boy gets raised. If a boy does any household chores, no doubt he will be more appreciated and talked about and the conversation will go something like this “Awwww….poor boy had to do the dishes”. So where was he when the dishes were done other thousand times?
I know this statement will not be appreciated much by some aunties, but it is true. They pamper their little 30 year olds like they are still 5years old. Even those men understand that they are being treated like babies. But they do not want to say anything to their mothers. You know the whole “emotional drama” will start. But I wonder living in this part of the world where everyone is independent and is expected to do everything on their own. Why can’t they be left to think or do things by themselves?
What makes me laugh is that these “Mammas Boys “pretend to be all tough and macho in front of their girlfriends and the moment their Mother phones them they become scared little rats. Well, no disrespect there could be an emergency at home too, but really how often? They would not even tell their mother to wait or tell her that they are with somebody. The whole imagery of being a man who says “I call the decisions or I do this or that” is all pretentious to me. How do you call yourself independent when you totally depend on your mother or sisters for you daily needs?
Trust me, men do this after they get married or even go through broken marriages because of the dependent relationship and attention from their mother and sisters that too often comes before their wives needs. So, on the mother’s part, is this fair? Or they are being selfish in regards to their own children. To some extent, it could be possible that mothers feel insecure that their beloved son is now giving attention to somebody else?
With all this I do not mean that men should separate from their Mothers and Sisters once they get married, but families need to face the fact marriage means relationships will change. This behavior is very common in South Asian families.
Sometimes too much love is dangerous too. It’s funny that I am writing this a year after I have experienced this for myself. My ex-husband was a baby too. At 36 years of age, he still could not think for himself and support his wife. Well in my understanding he really is up there as a “Momma’s Boy”. Most couples go through a rough patch in a marriage, so what are you going to do as a husband? Just leave your wife and let your Mother and sister handle things for you or take charge of your own relationships?
Some women go though this situation of playing second fiddle to the Mother in law or sister in laws for years. Marriage is primarily a relationship that involves only two individuals: the husband and wife. By this I don’t mean that you ignore your family members, but a man needs to have a spine. Well its simple - just do the right thing.
So, if you see someone being loved too much by their Moms, phoned every five minutes to see if they have eaten, what time they are coming home, fed like a baby or all his decisions are being influenced by the loving mother, beware they do qualify to be a “Momma’s Boy!”
