He He "Bullocks"

OK this is ambarassing. My continous habit of being curious to know new things or just say knowing exactly what something means got me into an ambarassing situation. I asked my co worker, a senior guy "what does BULLOCKS" mean. He laughed and said "how can tell this to you without making it less ambarassing"...said it means men's balls...gosh all these years i thought it means something like stupid or cow. See i am from India. My english is not bad or say not that great. So, yeah that was ambarassing, my face just turned red. Gosh...these slang words are used so commonly...How do you know without asking someone?

Blogger Buzz: You Might As Well Jump!

Blogger Buzz: You Might As Well Jump!

Steps to be Positive

From my past experiences, i am trying hard to be positive. As they say- being positive brings good luck. As i think about it then i also feel selfish at the same time. But why not the whole world is doing what they want. So again you are going to be positive for your wishes. I have been thinking for the things that i want. The kind of wish list people make on Blogs. Personally it does not make sense...is it a wish list or it's the things you are fasinated for a while. I am not saying that i do not want materialistic stuff. But who cares what i want.I am not a celebrity that people would want to know that i want some freakin shoes i can't afford. Here i go being negative again. No seriously...who cares what you want. I have been trying to think the stuff that want for other people though...like i want a friend of mine who's trying hard to have a baby, or my sister who is taking air hostress training or for my cousins to find THE MAN for themselves. I am happy the way i am developing new interests in my life. Trying to get to know myself. There was a time when i wanted shoes or sarees....I  still want but it really does'nt seem to be important. Lately i do want an i-pod but that's because i want to relax myself...or just say I WANT IT.
So yes, i will try to write everyday about a good thing i did...No i will not write here and bore you. But just a step to be positive.

Live for Yourself

Recently I came across few women who are going through a rough time in there lives. I personally do not want to see anybody hurt but feel honored to help them. In past two weeks I came across two women who have completely given up on their ability to have a happy life. One of them had made the second attempt to suicide. No, she is not crazy…way too hurt. I totally understand what she is going through. Her marriage lasted for 7 years and she immensely loved her husband. She was pregnant too. But the ruthless man kicked and physically abused her and the baby died in her. I saw her in the intense unit care where she lied under white cotton sheet. Her brother woke her up and she just peeped under the sheet. She didn’t want to talk or listen to strangers. Her beautiful face lit up the whole room. Her eyes were blank but filled with tears. I was thinking that she might not even talk to us. But then I don’t know how she opened up views on committing suicide. She justified her stand on why dying is a better option than living the life she has. I will request people that not to consider committing suicide a coward act. Neither that I mean it means to feel brave to die. But we should understand why people choose that option in order to help them out. I again request people that I am not trying to instigate any suicidal feelings.

So what makes us so weak to make that choice? Is it the love that we say has betrayed us…or do we feel scared about what people are going to say…I totally understand how the abuse takes over our soul and feel controlled by the other person. Abuse are of many types….emotional abuse which breaks your self -confidence slowly makes you believe that what your partner or any other family person is doing is right. I am saying all this because I have gone through this personally. And one more thing that I noticed is that people who have not gone through do not understand these feelings than the people who have survived such relationships. I don’t mean that they do not understand what happened but to know you need to experience it. To which I don’t wish for anyone to see. Heartbreak is different than somebody who has been heartbroken and abused at same time. Both men and women take them differently. Men who fall in love also get thoughts of suicide like women. But suicide is not the answer to your problems.

The person your thinking to die for would not feel sorry for your death.  Or your death will not give your partner less of a problem they are facing now. Just see the other way around- you partner did not feel sorry for hurting you emotionally or physically. The only thing you can appreciate is that you loved the person truly…you gave your best. And that’s all that matters. The key is to slowly gather your feelings and try a fresh start. You may feel that it is the end of the world for you or feel nobody would care if you die. But no your families, your friends will never be the same without you. Life as I know now has so much to offer that a man’s love is not the only thing you seek for. You may feel that if I leave that guy you might not be the same person again. But the truth is nobody remains the same. Time changes and the situations make us do what not. You will never believe that you had all those power to give so much to the world.

I am very happy the way things are falling for me. As people who helped said “you will have good days and you will have bad days”. Sometimes we need to set our feelings aside and live for another day. Because the moment you leave hope, your soul has no reason to move on. I say to all the heartbroken people out there that you live for somebody’s love for a while now it’s time to discover yourself now. So be patient and don’t let somebody else take control of your life.

For people who think they know me

When people say hey that is so you...i say no you just wanna say that coz that makes you feel better. Recently i met this guy who said he wants to know me...haha...no he just wanted what all men want....i am so sorry if i hurt few men out there...well you guys made that reputation for yourself....so beat it. After four dates Mr. So Content never even phoned me to say hey i think it's not working out. He decided to go silent....very well i think it happened to him a lot that's why he chose that way. I do not wanna dicuss my relationship with my ex either coz he beats all the ass***es. Yeah, I have a bad luck with men...but you know what...i still believe in love...give some space to my hopes there...do not say i wanna know you till you really mean it...and for the people who think they know me, try hard coz i have opened up a lot of stuff with and still if you can't get it...then do not waist my time or yours.